discussion guide
Five Coffees and a Book
introduction
instructions | Five Coffees and a Book
Text on a white background saying "hang out and chat one hour a week for five weeks." There is a dark blue stripe on the left side with a circle containing an illustration of a drink with ice and a straw and a logo at the bottom right corner that says "5 coffees and a book" with a graphic of a coffee cup.
A blank white page with a yellow checkered border at the top and the phrase "that's it!" in dark gray text at the bottom right corner.
A graphic with the text 'We've worked to make this simple, safe, shareable,' and a logo in the bottom right corner that says '5 coffees and a book' with a coffee mug. There is also a yellow circle with a drawing of a coffee cup with a straw on the left side.
share these images with people you invite, or use them as inspiration for your own invitations.
share these images with people you invite, or use them as inspiration for your own invitations.
share these images with people you invite, or use them as inspiration for your own invitations.
week 1
week 1 of Five Coffees and a Book is all about breaking the ice and getting to know each other, whether you’ve just met or are old friends. read all the details over on Substack, linked here.
Illustration of a to-go coffee cup with a beige background and the text 'week 1' in dark blue.
1. about starter’s guiding notes: don’t read to the group. this is where the conversation should end up. the idea is to ask questions that will help people realize these ideas, if they don’t already. i could have made them more obvious or direct in the book, but then what would you have to talk about? • 2. this first hang-out is super casual. just get to know each other a little better. the guide below will help you do that in an hour. watch your time.
A graphic with the title 'Let's talk about life - 30 min' and questions about life goals, future, and personal growth. There is a coffee cup illustration with the number 5 and the words 'coffees and a book' at the bottom right corner.
3. it’s up to you to make sure each person has the opportunity to speak. no one should be forced to speak, but quiet, introverted, or shy folks may need an invitation.
A motivational quote on a white background that says, 'keep in mind always be kind.' There is a red vertical stripe on the left side with an illustration of a to-go coffee cup inside a yellow circle. In the lower right corner, there is a logo with a coffee cup and the text '5 coffees and a book' in colorful letters.
4. this is a MUST if people are going to be open and feel safe. the only time confidentiality may be trumped is if someone is planning to hurt themselves or someone else; if that’s the case see appropriate help immediately or help the person get to the help they need.
Illustration of a book titled "The Darkeness" with a cover image of a forest scene and a red feathered arrow. A coffee cup icon and text "5 coffees and a book" are also present.
A graphic with a yellow checkered pattern along the top border, the words "that's it!" in bold dark blue font at the bottom right corner, and a large empty white space in the middle.
week 2
by week 2, everyone should have read the story. this week’s discussion delves into some of the story’s themes and sets up ideas that will be revisited in future weeks. read all the details over on Substack, linked here.
Illustration of a coffee mug with whipped cream on top, used to represent week 2 of a schedule or plan.
Slide with a question prompt asking, 'what's something you're thankful for?' in a presentation titled 'opening question - 5 min,' featuring a coffee cup icon in the bottom left corner and the logo '5 coffees and a book' in the bottom right corner.
A slide from a presentation titled 'Let's talk about life! - 10 min' with two questions: 'What was your favorite toy as a child?' and 'What are your top 3 go-to apps on your phone?' The slide includes a yellow coffee cup icon on the bottom left and a logo with a coffee cup and the text '5 coffees and a book' at the bottom right.
1. in talking about the book, people will probably talk about some of their own stuff. great! keep bringing it back to the book this week, but don’t discourage people from talking about their own journey. that’s the whole point of the groups.
2. the book never reveals the specific origin of Guin’s darkness. but how we move forward is not necessarily tied into how we got here. everyone has different reasons for their darkness — sometimes it’s something that’s happened to them, sometimes it’s choices they’ve made, sometimes it’s little things, sometimes it’s big things, sometimes it’s chemical or genetic; usually it’s some of all of these. but no matter how we got here, the way forward involves some similar steps for everyone. • 3. the way forward involves some similar steps for everyone. some people will need to change habits, some people will need professional help to heal, some people will need medication, but everyone will need to talk, and everyone will need to help someone else keep movin. you only keep what you give away.
4. Roy doesn’t directly change Guin’s thinking. she leaves the weekend still intending to give up. but when Guin does for Sam what Roy modeled for her, Guin’s life suddenly had perceived value. before, Guin perceived no value. but now — even if that value was completely wrapped up in someone else for the time being — it’s infinitely more value than zero value, and enough to keep her movin. as she shares with Sam, she will see the value in helping others, and this will help re-write her story and give her a hope and future.
A book cover titled 'The Darkness'. The cover features an abstract dark forest scene with a red-winged bird or monster in the center. Surrounding the cover are illustrations of coffee cups and a logo with a coffee cup, the number 5, and the words 'coffees and a book'.
A graphic with a golden checkered pattern at the top, a mostly blank white background, and the words "that's it!" in dark blue in the bottom right corner.
An illustration of stacked coffee cups with the text "week 3" in the upper left corner.
Slide showing questions for a discussion, titled "opening questions - 10 min." Questions include "what are you thankful for?" and "what's a challenge you have going on this week?" There are icons of a coffee cup and a tea cup on the slide, with a logo at the bottom right for "5 coffees and a book".
1. offer both questions, but have people only answer one (for time’s sake)
2. start with open discussion, letting anyone answer and respond (dialogue). then offer these to discuss (one at a time)
A colorful educational slide with the title 'let's talk about Roy!' and the sentence 'he shared.' It includes a drawing of a paper coffee cup in a yellow circle on the bottom left and a red and black fishing fly on the bottom right.
Illustration with four red arrows pointing upward, a yellow circle with a coffee cup icon, a fishing fly lure, and text that reads "let's talk about Roy! he listened to her."
A sign with text that reads "let's talk about Roy! he committed to being there." It features a yellow coffee cup icon in the bottom left corner and a red and black fishing lure in the bottom right corner.
3. have each person actually say out loud: “i will call Susan” or “i will email Mr. Robertson”. saying it out loud makes clear what the simple goal is for the person doing the “i will”.
A flyer encouraging reaching out to someone named Roy this week to show encouragement, featuring an image of a book titled "the darkness" with a dark blue forest scene and a red arrow pointing upwards on the left side.
A checkered orange and white border at the top, with the phrase "that's it!" in bold dark blue text at the bottom right corner.
Illustration of a cup filled with ice and a straw, with the text 'week 4' at the top left corner.
A slide from a presentation with a light blue background and a curved design. It features two questions for reflection: "what's something you're thankful for?" and "did you do your 'i will' from last week? how did it go?" There is a small icon of a beverage with ice and a straw in a yellow circle at the bottom left. The bottom right includes a colorful logo of a coffee cup with the text "5 coffees and a BOOK".
A white page with a blue sidebar on the left. The page has text that says: 'let's talk about life! - 15 min', 'what songs instantly affect your mood?', and 'what lifts you up when you're down?'. There is a yellow circle with a black outline of a drink with ice and a straw at the bottom left. On the bottom right, there is a graphic of a coffee cup with steam, a red number 5, and the words 'coffees and a book' with the word 'book' spelled out in blue lettered blocks.
A graphic with optional questions for self-reflection, featuring two questions: 'What's the strongest you've ever been?' and 'What's something you've always wanted to accomplish?' The left side has a yellow and white checkered pattern and a circle with an illustration of iced coffee with a straw. The bottom right corner has a logo with a coffee cup and the text '5 coffees and a book'.
A colorful graphic with a red background and a white central shape featuring text that reads, 'Guin's journey started to change direction when she shared her story with Sam. why might this be?' along with an illustration of a red fishing lure.
1. this is a time for sharing, not fixing or rescuing. might be a good thing to mention before you share, so people are on board from the get-go. use the three-act structure presented to shape your story. • 2. it’s a good idea to practice it beforehand to make sure it is under 5 minutes (that’s not very much time). you may write it down if you need, but it will help others in the group (who are likely not prepared with something written) if you can just speak from your heart. but modeling brevity will set everyone else up for doing the same. • 3. if you’re nervous, just remember that everyone there is your fan, is on your side, and wants to hear your story. also remember that by opening up (just like Roy does in the book), it models that openness and bravery for the others in the group (just like it did for Guin). if you’re nervous, they are too (maybe more so). your sharing breaks down that wall, and will help people to share freely. you don’t have to share anything extremely personal, and avoid sharing things (like names or circumstances) that might violate someone else’s confidentiality. the goal is not to place blame or talk about the causes of your issues. the goal is to be open about the difficulties you have, how you cope with them, and ways you’ve found to get through those times. it’s not about irradicating the source of the darkness. it’s about helping those in your group find a path through the darkness into the light. you’re sharing your story, not preaching. so always speak in the first person (“i try to get rest and eat healthy”) rather than second person (“you have to get rest and be healthy”). if faith is a part of your story, it’s fine and natural to share about your experiences. not everyone in your group will share your worldview, so always make sure you talk about your faith with gentleness and respect.
An inspirational social media graphic with the message 'Keep movin, share your story with someone this week,' featuring a book cover titled 'Darkness.' The image includes icons of arrows, a cup of iced coffee, and a coffee shop logo reading '5 coffees and a book.'
A minimalist illustration with a checkered pattern at the top and the phrase "that's it." in bold dark text at the bottom right.
An illustration of a coffee cup on a saucer with the text 'week 5' in the top left corner.
Slide with a blue and yellow background, asking two questions: 'what are you thankful for?' and 'what's something challenging you have going on this week?' A yellow coffee cup icon in a circle at the bottom left and a logo with a coffee cup, the number 5, and the words 'coffees and a book' at the bottom right.
A white background with blue text prompting discussion topics about life and friendships, and a logo at the bottom right that says '5 coffees and a book' with an illustration of a coffee cup and a yellow speech bubble.
1. start with open discussion, letting anyone answer and respond (dialogue). then offer these to discuss (one at a time):
A digital graphic with the text 'let's talk about Sam!' at the top, and 'she found value.' in the center. A red side border with a small yellow circle containing a blue outline image of a coffee cup and saucer on the bottom left, and a fishing lure with red feathers on the bottom right.
A quote says, "let's talk about Sam! she found purpose". The design includes a yellow circle with a coffee cup icon on the bottom left and a red fishing lure on the bottom right.
A presentation slide with the title 'let's talk about Sam!' and the text 'she found connection/relationship.' The slide has a yellow checkered border on the left, a coffee cup icon at the bottom left, and a red fishing fly with a hook at the bottom right.
2. again, have each person clearly state out loud: “i will invite Julie” or “i will ask Greg”. then follow up with them in a couple of days to see if they’ve done it and if they need any help.
Cover of a book titled 'The Darkness' by Paul Andrew Skidmore, with a forest scene and dark colors.
Five dark blue arrows pointing to the right, with the phrase "that's it!" in dark blue text at the bottom right corner.